Here’s the thing about forks…

“Two steps forward, one step back” is an age-old idea I can’t say I have ever really practiced until recently. I found myself walking towards an end I simply did not want. Whatever was left of my heart was battered and broken. I found my reasons to continue on this road flawed and flimsy, but they were sill reasons to move forward. It was only a matter of time before I became complacent, and while I still may have found some happiness and fulfillment in the end, I had left another path virgin, unexplored – undoubtedly treacherous but potentially so much more.

It took months to realize that it was still within my power to go back to the last fork in the road, and still more months before i mustered up the strength and courage to turn back. These were months of family turbulence, depression, and desperation.

So here I am, having taken the first few steps on this new trail – scared and scarred, but healing. I hope and pray I have been wise and will continue to be wise with my decisions. You can only do this so many times in your life – at least at this magnitude.

I have a handful of creative projects on the table and an interview on Monday to become a social media marketing coordinator. Wish me luck, ‘Pressers.

And goodnight.


Self-Affirmation: Excuse me as I Stroke my Ego

Applying for jobs can be pretty disheartening when every rejection essentially means either (a) you weren’t good enough for the position, or (b) there was someone better than you. After recently taking stock of my abilities and goals, I realized that I’m kind of awesome — but I need to believe so if I expect to convince anyone else. So here’s the breakdown:

I graduated with my BS in Civil Engineering from Loyola Marymount University in 4 years – a field some take 5 or 6 years to complete.

I did so while also being fully-immersed in theatre and performance art with leading roles in some productions.

I passed the FE/EIT Exam on my first try with no prep classes. (I went to ONE day of ONE class and rightly deemed it a waste of time.)

I’m currently getting certified as an AutoCAD Technician and will likely finish the course a full week sooner than most of my classmates.

I think creatively. I write effectively. I connect with new people easily and broadly.

I can act, sing, juggle, play the piano and solve ordered differential equations. I can bake pies and build coffee tables from scratch. I can make people laugh. I can rock a spreadsheet. I often ponder the theories of non-linear time travel in Doctor Who and quote lines from Community. I can clear 40 lines in less than 1:00.00 playing Tetris. I rock climb.

I’m clever. I’m interesting. I’m a generally good person.

There SHOULD be something out there for me. I figure I have a better chance of finding it if I go out there and look versus keeping my head up my own ass.

Yes, I’m kind of awesome, and you and I had better believe it.

Blind Date with a Book

As someone who used to break out into a heavy sweat trying to figure out my next read, I absolutely love this clever concept: Blind Date with a Book. (More info after the jump. Thank you, ThinkGeek for your Facebook Timeline post.)

I’ve always thought that starting a book was a bit of a commitment – once you’ve broken the binding, you’ve forged the bond. Too many times have I left Borders (RIP) empty-handed because I would get too frustrated with my own inability to decide on a new adventure. That’s why I used to exclusively read short-story anthologies and magazines.

I am going to have to look into this program. I expect to see more of it popping up in local libraries. I love how it echoes real life in that you don’t get to choose the adventure, you just have to choose to begin.

I’m not sure if anyone’s used that or similar as a tagline for the program, but someone should…

You don’t get to choose the adventure; you just have to choose to begin.

That reminds me, I have a couple of adventures I must get back to. Wisps of connections are starting to form in Cloud Atlas, and a computer program is about to gain sentience in A Working Theory of Love. I should catch up with Arthur Dent too. See you guys at lunch.